Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Anaconda News Throughout the Years

By: Kelly McClure

Not too many hours ago, at midnight to be exact, although I have nothing to do with that because I was definitely sleeping, a nice young woman released a video that a bunch of people woke up and masturbated to while thinking "thanks for the masturbation, but this song sucks." The name of the song that the video was made for is "Anaconda" because of penises. 

Here are some more memorable news items about Anacondas, because the Internet is for three things: News, butts, and churning out some straight up garbage can garbage. If you masturbate to these news items then there is something wrong with you.

July 21, 2014
(Don't tell anyone about these snakes.)

April 18, 2014:
(Snakes for pets? Got a smelly house.)

April 12, 2014:
(People don't think that snakes are very nice.)

February 26, 2014
(Weird and gross little girl.)

January 21, 2014
(Snakes in a toilet. How come?)

November 27, 2013
(Don't be drunk by snakes.)

November 18, 2013:
(Oh no.)