Monday, August 11, 2014

It Won't Be Long Now, For the Thing That's a Thing

By: Kelly McClure


Over the weekend there was a thing. It's still Summer, and Summer is the season for things. A lot of people like to go to things. Sometimes you feel like you want to go to a thing, and then you do. Sometimes you feel like you SHOULD want to go to a thing, and then you do, or you don't. Usually when you feel like you SHOULD go to a thing, and you don't, you feel great. Sometimes when you feel like you should enjoy going to a thing, it turns into you feeling like you SHOULD go to a thing, and then you go, and it's bad. A lot of people like to do things outside in a big clump. A lot of people like to do free things outside, in large parks, where there is music playing, for free, and everyone is there. Like, everyone. Like the whole city, in this park, is there, and you're there too, and it's definitely happening.



Sometimes you leave your home, on the weekend, in clothes. Sometimes you walk a few miles, drinking wine from a sports bottle, all in effort to make it to a thing, and have the thing turn out to be a good idea. Sometimes half way there you stop at a bench and sit down to smoke a cigarette and finish the wine in the sports bottle and think about how you are not actually going to the thing. You are definitely walking towards it. But you are not going to end up going to the thing. You can already feel the "not going to the thing" pull yanking you away from the thing. You intended to go to the thing. You are not going to the thing. All those people are. You're not. 


You are near the thing. You walk around the outside of the thing. There is a thing, and you circle it. You recognize that you are very near the thing. If the thing were an egg, you'd be like a sperm, bouncing around in a little strip of goo, maybe trying to get up in the thing, but also not really caring because you're goo. You're doing what goo does. You're basically doing the best job of being a goo that you can do. You are not going to be making a baby thing today. No baby. No thing. 


Everyone is lining up to go to the thing. Everyone has been lining up for many hours to go to the thing. They are excited about the thing. You are not trying to be in the line for the thing. You are watching the thing, as a thing. You are wondering what it means that you don't try harder to make it so you will actually be in the thing, and not just by the thing. You wonder how going, or not going to the thing will alter the trajectory of your life, as the moving train of a thing that it is. You wonder if your occasional effort put forth towards maybe going to a thing can be seen as a mental or physical weakness, or if your lack of effort put forth towards the thing is the thing that's the thing. You wonder what your proper place in the thing is. You wonder if anyone around you can also feel the pressing, unforgiving burden of being given one life, and having it infringed upon daily by the societal taxing of human interaction. At the thing.

Did you go to the thing? It sounded so good at the thing. I got impregnated twice at the thing. I heard that themoon.com broadcasted live from the thing. I got to drink for free at the thing, and then we went to this other thing. Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing. 


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