Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Balls Occasionally Vol. Five: Manly Lessons Found in Drake's 'Nothing Was the Same'

By: Kelly McClure

For most things in life that are important, there is no guide book. No book of instructions. While there is often a book of instructions to be found for completing a task like getting the color just right on your new television set, or how to achieve the perfect set of abdominal muscles, there's no help to be found, no written set of ins and outs for big picture stuff like how to be a man. But if you listen, there are clues to be found out there in the world. Yesterday Drake released his latest album, Nothing Was the Same, and it is more or less an instructional bible, in the form of a collection of songs, that will walk you through how to perfectly live that life that you only have one of. Let's take a look at each song and unwrap the wisdom to be found there.

"Tuscan Leather" 

"Here's a reason for niggas that's hatin' without one
That always let they mouth run
Bench players talkin' like starters, I hate it
Started from the bottom, now we here, nigga, we made it
Yeah, Tom Ford Tuscan Leather smelling like a brick 
Degenerates, but even Ellen love our shit."  

Always do your best, and be nice to lesbians. Try hard.

"Furthest Thing" 

"I still been drinking on the low 
Mobbin on the low
Fuckin on the low
Smokin on the low
I still been plotting on the low
Scheming on the low
The furthest thing from perfect
Like everyone I know." 

Everyone has problems. Everyone has flaws. Everyone has vices. Just don't talk about them. And if you do talk about them, do it in this way where maybe you have your head in your hands a little and you're just like "oh man." 

"Started From the Bottom" 
"No new n-ggas, n-gga we don’t feel that
F-ck a fake friend, where you real friends at?
We don’t like to do too much explaining
Story stay the same through the money and the fame." 

People will definitely treat you the best when you are in a position to give them something they want, and then when you're not, they will treat you like a douche bag. But over time, you will work your way towards having something that they want again, and when they ask you for it, you can be like "no." 

"Wu-Tang Forever" 

"I just love when I'm with you, yeah, this shit is on ten 
We used to be friends, girl, and even back then
You would look at me with no hesitation and you'd tell me baby, it's yours
Nobody else's, yeah, this shit belong to nobody, it's yours." 

The highest reward to be had in life is where you destroy a vagina in such a pleasing way that the person who the vagina belongs to signs its ownership over to you, so then YOU own the vagina.

"Own It" 

"I said go own that shit
Own that shit, own that shit
Own that shit, go own that shit
Own that shit, own that shit
Own that shit, own that shit
Go own that shit." 

(See lesson above) 

"Worst Behavior" 

"I'm on my worst behavior,
Don't you ever get it fucked up
Motherfuckers never loved us
Man, motherfuckers never loved us." 

Pent up hostility towards your parents, or the people who raised you, can tend to come to a boil during a person's adult years, but a healthy way to process it and let it go is to journal your thoughts, or express them in song. Let them out. Don't hold them in. Begin the healing process in a way that works best for you, and then move on. 

"From Time" 

"Cause I love me, I love me enough for the both of us.
That's why you trust me, I know you been through more than most of us." 

In order to find the person who's right for you to love, you have to BE a person who's right to love. Some people haven't quite put in the work required to be worthy of the perfect love, so it's good to be able and ready to love yourself way more than they could ever possibly, in an effort to get a head start on filling that dark hole within your soul that the both of you, if all goes well, will spend the rest of your combined lives attempting to fill. You never will, but the exhausting distraction of trying will make the days fly by. 

"Hold on We're Going Home" 

"You left your mark on me 
I want your hot love and emotion endlessly." 

Most young men feel that showing emotion is a sign of weakness. What a seasoned man will tell you is that at a certain point it becomes intolerable to hold all of those stockpiled emotions in, and they will eventually come flooding out in a constant, salty wave of so so so so many different kinds of emotions. Get a head start on this happening by being VERY VERY emotional from the get go. Say everything. Say every little thing that ever comes to your mind. Cry loudly in public places while hitting things. Who gives a shit? You do.


"Swanging, eyes closed just swanging
Same city, same friends if you're looking for me
Same city, same friends if you're looking
I'll be here just swanging." 

If your goal is to reach a level of education and success that takes you out of the town you grew up in, and have lived in your whole life so far, but find it hard to meet that goal - simply embrace your home town and become the mayor of good will and high spirits there. Frequent local establishments and make a point to always smile at any new faces you see, and greet familiar faces with a hug. There's no need to go anywhere else. THIS is your home.

"The Language" 

"Fuck any nigga that's talkin' that shit just to get a reaction
Fuck going platinum, I looked at my wrist and it's already platinum
I am the kid with the motor mouth
I am the one that you should worry about
I don't know who you're referring to, who is this nigga you heard about?" 

There is no way for a person to tell that you're cool unless you TELL them that you are.

"305 to My City"

"Tonight was your night, go get you some lobsters and shrimp
You smart and you know it, I get it I get it you outdo these pimps." 

It's important to take time out to reward yourself, and your loved ones, for your accomplishments. A nice meal is a good and practical way to do this.

"Too Much" 

"Guess since my text message didn't resonate, I'll just say it here
Hate the fact my mom cooped up in her apartment, tellin' herself
That she's too sick to get dressed up and go do shit, like that's true shit." 

It's important to keep motivated, and keep on yourself about staying active and getting out of the house. Even if you just shower, get dressed, and walk to the mailbox and back - it's better than NOT doing those things. Challenge yourself.  

"Pound Cake" 

"Cash rules everything around me
C.R.E.A.M. get the money
Dolla dolla bill y'all." 

Money is a nice thing to have at the ready, and is ideal to exchange for a wide variety of goods and services. 

As always, please direct any questions, comments, or suggestions to