Thursday, June 27, 2013

My MacBook Color Wheeling Just Reminded me of my Gay Rights

One afternoon, not too long ago, my ancient laptop was color wheeling so often, and to such a frustrating degree, that I, being an otherwise rational and productive member of society, tilted the screen, leaned down, and bit it. I bit my laptop, and shook my head back and forth, while crying, and trapped inside of my throat, muffled with spit, my tongue, and plastic, was the word "fuccccccccccck."

All this morning, while trying to work on my various business accomplishments, my MacBook has been color wheeling. It color wheels when I open a new tab, it color wheels when a page loads, it color wheels when a video is attempting to play, sometimes it color wheels just when I tap on a button. Trying to work on this particular laptop is like wrestling a large snake while also trying to enjoy a cup of coffee. It's not really like that. I don't know what that would be like. Probably easier than this. 

Having your work split into 45-second intervals teaches you a thing or two. It teaches you that your #1 goal should be to some day do a thing that would make people want to pay you enough money that would allow you to buy a NEW computer, and it also teaches you patience. I've found that more than anything else, it's taught me how to multitask. This morning, while waiting for my MacBook to finish its dance of color so that I could finish typing the word "scanner," I leaned back in my chair, and sipped my coffee while breathing in and out. I focused on my breathing, and realized that my eyes were seeing this otherwise troubling wheel in a whole new way. The colors. The beautiful colors. Circling before my eyes, the blue melting into the yellow, and the yellow into the red, my heart filled with love and appreciation for the fact that I am a homosexual faggoty lesbian who can now, in full peace and harmony, marry, and stay married, to my homosexual faggoty lesbian love partner. In this state, and some other states too. God bless America. Sort of. Well, most of the time.