Friday, May 3, 2013

Internet Runs out of Ideas - Makes Web Series About Me and My Girlfriend.

Well, it's finally happened. While dicking around on the internet, which is basically half of my day, every day, I came across intel on a new web series called Kelly and Lindsey Do New York. Of course I was like "JUMP BACK, JACK!" Because MY name is Kelly, and my lesbian booty lover's name is Lindsey!! What are the oddsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss?

The only thing that leads me to believe that this web series is not a direct rip-off of my actual daily life is that the full title of the show is Kelly and Lindsey Do New York: A Non-Lesbian Love Story, and my girlfriend and I are obviously not non-lesbians because we touch each other's privates a lot. And I know what you're thinking, you're thinking "HEY! But your girlfriend is only a part-timer, and you masturbate while thinking about Sufjan's hair brushing against your labia sometimes!" Mind your business.

Let's watch this together and then talk more about my life:

Okay, I had to skip past the opening segment because it was making me sick, but then I heard a thing about them not paying their rent, and going for brunch. Do people really think that that's all there is to talk about when they talk about girls (NON GAY ONES! THEY ARE NOT GAY!) living in Brooklyn? I eat brunch sometimes, but I also do more before 10am than most people do all week, so make a show about that you fuck face. We shouldn't be watching this. I'm sorry. Let's just, let's do something else now. I'm sorry. I don't think I like comedy things anymore. People are bad at it.